Friday, March 10, 2006

Big Bad John
Guess who called me at home at 1am Friday? My new best buddy, millionaire Hong Kong maggotweasel and Annie Pang's former paramour, John Fang. Turns out though that as with Annie, Fang is faithless when courting the press.
When I compared notes with my Chinese media peers at court later that morning I found he'd called them all with the same request. I was also crushed to learn that I'd been apparently last on his list. Fang, whose spoken English sounds unnervingly - both in accent and delivery - like Kahn Souphanousinphone, the wealthy insufferable Laotian neighbor of Hank Hill on King of the Hill, wanted copies of our notes regarding Coroner Colin Mackintosh's daily patient but increasingly weary sounding warnings to lawyer Mary Jean Reimer to focus her questioning on relevant matters.
He's upset because she pulled one of her "I submit to you that you caused the death of Annie Pang'' numbers on him last week and seems to believe if he can document that Mackintosh doesn't approve of her (hapless) attempts at pinning it on anyone who sits in the witness stand that she will fail.
I turned him down, of course and asked him never to call me again, at least at 1am. What I didn't have the late night/early morning clarity to tell him was that if he wants a transcript of the inquest complete with Mackintosh's pithy reminders to Reiner, he only has to request and presumably pay a small fee for it.
I also didn't have the presence of mind to tell him that he and Reimer are two ego-bloated clowns made for each other and if he wants a new mistress he might consider making a move after the mess is over.
Connie? Did he ask about Connie?
He told me to take my "hillbilly redneck hands off of Kahn Jr!"
Now this case is getting interesting! :-)
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